1. The wall

    I’ve hit it. Big time.

    I’ve completely lost motivation and started putting weight back on. I’m hormonal, emotional, and over it.

    I’m fucking sick of always being on a diet, always hating my body, and always feeling guilty for something.

    I know that if I’m seriously going to get myself out of this mess I need to fundamentally change my lifestyle / routine and attitude. But I’m so messed up that I don’t even know what equilibrium would look like any more.

    My metabolism is so messed up. I’m so bad at actually recognizing hunger cues and distinguishing emotional and physical hunger.

    I’m constantly stressed and anxious. I’m not sleeping. I have a terrible lack of rhythm and routine in my life.

    How do I go back to square one and start from scratch? Typically I make big big ambitious changes and I feel
    Motivated and in control until I run out of steam and fall off the bandwagon.

    I know exactly what a clean diet looks like, but I’m so bad at finding balance that I just spend all my time beating myself up for not doing things perfectly.

    I’m great at strategizing - I can write a great ambitious workout plan but I honestly don’t know how to do this so it is sustainable and achievable.

    I’m 30 kgs overweight. I’m not desperately unfit but I’m nowhere near I want to be.

    What do I do? Help me.

  2. Advice

    Hey peeps.

    So I’m going well, the scales are moving, I’m seeing improvements in fat loss, etc. but I’m still getting FLOGGED at Crossfit and haven’t seen much of an improvement here, and I’m still fatiguing really badly. This could be a hangover from my adrenal fatigue issues, but it feels like I’m just not getting much fitter.

    I’m wondering if the problem is just that weight loss and improved Crossfit performance aren’t necessarily compatible?
    Maybe I’m just not fueling my body enough for Crossfit because I’m focused in weight loss?
    Can I sufficiently fuel Crossfit performances while staying in calorie deficit so the weight keeps dropping?
    Should I stop focusing on the weight loss and just worry about performance in the hope that the weight loss comes anyway?
    Is it possible that I just need more protein?

    What do you think? Advice please!

  3. Breakthrough

    Well kids, after my little ranty whingey post last week you’ll be happy to know that things are looking up.

    I weighed in UNDER 80 kgs for the first time (in a very long time) today and I had an awesome bikram class this afternoon - my third great class in a row, so looks like I’ve finally got my mojo back.

    I think it has really come down to being a bit more disciplined. I’m happy to say that I’ve actually come in a week ahead of schedule (5 kgs every 3 months), which bodes well for me actually being able to fit into my gorgeous red lace dress in 3 weeks for a friends wedding.

    I had dinner with girlfriends on Saturday night and caught up with a few others over the weekend and was surprised to hear so many comments. I scored a new pair of jeans at the op shop on the weekend and rocked them out and actually feel like I looked good in them which is a nice change. I saw a photo of what I looked like at a wedding 10 weeks ago, and yes, the difference is quite big - so really maybe the comments aren’t that much of a surprise.

    As well as the numbers on the scale finally starting to move, I am seeing some changes in my body. Looking in the mirror at bikram today, my hips/bum are shrinking, my belly is shrinking, I’m seeing some definition in my arms, and my face, neck and chest look less swollen and puffy all the time.

    My more regular bikram practice is finally paying off and I’m seeing improvements in my favourite postures, and even in the ones I’ve traditionally been a bit scared of. I always say that the measure of a good bikram class is when you don’t even notice the heat, and today I was totally in the zone and didn’t even bat an eyelid.

    The final test will be crossfit tomorrow morning. Going to eat some delicious salmon tonight and fuel myself up good and proper to make sure I can nail it tomorrow.

    I’ll also weigh in at the beginning of the month (April) and take some progress measurements and photo. And who knows, maybe I’ll even post it here.

    Part of me is kind of hoping at the same time, that now that my routine is bedded down, my eating is good, and my base level of fitness is better, that I might start to see faster progress, both in terms of fat loss/lean muscle gain and performance at the gym. But that’s probably just me getting greedy…


  4. Frustration

    Feeling a bit frustrated today. I know this is a slow burn, but I’m getting a bit disheartened that I’m not seeing the numbers drop even though I feel like I’m working really hard.

    I’ve seen some changes to body composition in the last 10 weeks - I’m seeing some definition in my arms and legs, but progress has really slowed, even in terms of measurements. I’m not really seeing any fat loss, and I’m not seeing much improvement in my performance at crossfit.

    I’m averaging a calorie deficit of over 1000 cals a day, but not seeing any change. I’ve been at this for nearly 3 months and I’ve only lost 3 kgs - far less that I’ve lost over the same period in the past.

    I’m trying to be ok with this, as I’m takinig it slow and making changes for the long term, but at the same time, if I don’t start seeing some kind of results for my efforts I know I’ll be tempted to throw in the towel.

    I don’t know if maybe I’m not eating enough, or if I should ease off so much exercise? I’m wondering if more sleep is the answer?

  5. Realization

    Had a light bulb moment today -

    I was starting to get frustrated at myself that I haven’t lost as much weight as I’d hoped 7 weeks in to the new year. A had a hormone driven food blow out this weekend and I was pretty lazy as far as working out goes. I was feeling defeated and pissed off with myself.

    But then I remembered the first time I ever lost weight. I was 16. I was training 3 mornings a week, I changed very little about my eating habits, just cutting back on bread.

    Yet before you know it, I had people telling me I looked really fit and healthy.

    In 3 months I lost 5 kgs, going from 65 to 60. I felt good and got lots of comments.

    So perhaps that’s the key. Even if I only lose 5 kgs every 3 months, that’s 20 kgs over a year. And I don’t need to kill myself, overtrain, or miss out on things. Being active ongoing is much better for me than burning myself out and my body will change over time.

  6. January

    So. I’ve just had my check in for the end of January. And in the end I only lost 2 kgs, but considering I had quite a few major lapses this month, and didn’t really get started until 1 week into Jan I’m trying not to feel too frustrated.

    Serves as a handy reminder that I’ll need to be focused and consistent if this is going to work for me.

    I wrote up my new schedule and it looks loosely like this:

    Mon, Wed, Fri - crossfit at 6.15 am / run at 4
    Tues, Thurs - pilates at 6 am / bikram at 4
    Saturday - something fun in the am - run, bike, walk, yoga
    Sunday - something light in the am - bikram, run, walk, run

    Trying to be ambitious but realistic.

    I’d like to think I can definitely get in 10 sessions, but I’ve scheduled 12 to give myself the option to miss a couple each week if I’m worn out, sore or really just not feeling it. It also leaves things open to life getting in the road a bit.

    3 x crossfit (300 cals)
    2 x pilates (300 cals)
    2 x bikram (or vinyasa) (600 cals)
    2 x run (300 cals)
    1 x something lighter (300 cals)

    + 5 bike commutes (400 cals)

    Intake stays at approx 1200-1500 cals. Output aiming for approx 1000 each day. Weekends slightly more relaxed with less output.

    I’m also doing a Transcendental Meditation course in a couple of week to try and get the stress stuff under control. So would like to work 2 blocks of 15 minutes of meditation into my routine each day.

    The great thing is that even after 1 month I might not have lost much weight, but I am starting to see changes. Feeling tighter, fitter, my performances are already improving at crossfit.

    I’m not struggling with everything like I used to. I got really upset last week because I felt so revolting after a weekend of out and out gorging myself. But I’m just realising I need to pick the people I have around me carefully. I guess that’s where the lifestyle part of this is a challenge. But I also need to recognise that only I can make the right choices for me.

    Part of the problem for me is really not wanting to rock the boat when I’m out with friends. I don’t want to be that girl who’s hard work, who eats funny, who makes a big deal about food. I don’t want to be high maintenence. This is actually pretty consistent throughout my life - always easy to get on with, avoiding conflict, playing along. I think there’s some serious emotional/food stuff there that probably needs to be explored in more detail.

    But my naturopath told me ages ago “they’re eating what they want to eat - why shouldn’t you be able to eat what you want to eat?” I think it’s going to be really important to remember that.

    This is going to be a challenge for me forever. I can relax when I’m 30 kgs down and feeling fit and healthy. For now, it is pedal to the metal and get my body feeling good - lean and strong.

    Doing it.

  7. guilt

    Feeling absolutely racked with guilt about this past weekend. It should have been a lovely relaxing weekend by the beach but instead I feel so absolutely depressed about everything I ate and drank. I went to bikram saturday and sunday, but even still I feel absolutely crushed and ready to do something drastic.

    I kind of feel like if I’m to be successful with my weight loss I’m going to need to cut off all my friends and become a social outcast because so many of my friends are foodies and all our social interactions are built around eating and drinking.

    I’m so desperate to get myself out of this and I want so badly to stop hating my body that I’m prepared to be a loner to see progress.

    I’m so fucked up in the head that I think I have to go and see a counsellor to help me deal with my food, anxiety and body image issues.

    I just don’t know what to do and I feel so defeated and sick.

  8. 2014 - killing it

    So back to work and real life this week, and so far I’ve done 2 crossfit sessions, a bikram class, a ridden to work every day. Also just did a mobility session because I’m so damn sore!

    Gave Tuesday night running a miss because I can barely walk let alone run 5 km, even “socially”. Working up to it and then I’ll get along.

    Diet isn’t as solid yet. I’d ballooned up to 85 kgs - well 84.9 thanks to a little over indulgence over the break, which is shit but not the end of the world, because I’d taken all of my planning as I would be close to that anyway.

    I’ve signed up for an 8 week paleo/zone challenge, so that should be a good framework for me to get things nice and clean, plus make sure I’m getting the right macros to allow my body to recover a bit easier.

    Already down .8 for the week. Aiming for 5 kgs by the end of the month, and the same again in Feb. Must do measurements too so I’m not relying too heavily on that as my guide.

    The other thing that I noticed straight away is that I’m sleeping way better. Getting less sleep, but better sleep so that is a great sign. I’m kind of shocked that I haven’t been feeling so exhaused as I once would have been, I guess I have made more progress on the adrenal fatigue front than I’d thought.

    I’m pretty happy with myself so far. Feeling good.

  9. 50 pound loss! :) 5’7” 180 -> ~130


    180 -> 135

    50 pound loss!

    The process took me about a year and a half. Lost it through clean eating and Jillian Michaels DVDs! I’ve just started blogging at www.kristengeorgia.tumblr.com and my journey to a healthy lifestyle so it would mean so much if you could feature me !


  10. image: Download


Email Submission
5 months of dedication. 178 to 108 (70 lb weightloss).

5 months! I reckon that’s almost too much considering… But looks amazing!


    Email Submission

    5 months of dedication. 178 to 108 (70 lb weightloss).

    5 months! I reckon that’s almost too much considering… But looks amazing!